For many of us the holidays are some of the toughest halls we find ourselves in after a loss. The way we handle our loss is as individual as our fingerprint – meaning we handle loss in our own “unique” way. There are moments during the holidays where we hear a song, smell something in the air, eat something, see something and suddenly we find ourselves sad and missing a loved one. There are also moments where we catch ourselves doing “ok”. We notice that we are experiencing moments of deep connection, love, a sense of peace and sometimes laughter. What I have learned is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, AND, as we move through the holidays, it is very important to be gentle, kind, patient and compassionate towards ourselves. I also believe that we have the opportunity to experience the holidays in a new way – and we get to choose how. Having said that I also believe that we have the right to change our minds as many times as we need to at any time during the process....
As I move about my life I meet so many people who are in some of the greatest health challenges of their lives. They have recently been given a diagnosis or are in various stages of learning how to “live”, and not “die” from their current health challenge(s). Or, I meet family members intimately involved in helping their loved ones during these challenges.
I relate to them on such a deep level because 30 years ago this month I found myself in these exact hallways. I “get” how it feels to have your world rocked in less than a minute. I “get” how afraid they are, the stress and exhaustion one experiences from sleepless nights and fear. The holding back and not embracing life fully from adapting a mindset of “I can’t be happy, be at peace, I have this disease, I’m waiting for the “other shoe to drop” approach to life.
My journey to heal was a “three legged stool approach” to heal from my cancer. I practice it still today. Taught it to my k...
According to davidji in his book Secrets of Meditation, “the second most common reason people cite for not meditating is they think the results are too subtle so they can’t see any value in continuing.” He continues, “this goes back to our misconceptions about what meditation is supposed to be. If your expectations are to levitate and see colors but you are only aware of drifting back and forth between the mantra and thoughts, you will assume it’s not working and give up. You may even think you’re doing it wrong because you don’t have any A/ha moments during your practice. The benefits of our meditation practice happen in the 23 hours a day when we are not meditating. “
Meditation weaves it’s grace into how I walk, stand in line, how I drive.
When I walk my meditation practice helps me become aware of my pace and my breathing. I experience moments of profound gratitude for the ability to walk. My practice each day helps me slow down as I move about ~ I “notice” my environment more o...
Have you read The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer? Loved it ~highly recommend. I also Loved reading his teachings in Oprah’s new book on how meditation helps him deal with problems (see below).
davidji was the first teacher to introduce me to how "meditation" would help me deal with problems. In order to do that I had to learn how to meditate (checked that box). Next, how to access that space between the trigger and my response and then moving into it (work in progress).
Before learning how to meditate (and practicing mindfulness throughout my day) I was pretty much living on autopilot - reacting without really thinking. Some call that sleep walking through life or living unconsciously. Bascially, that behavior led to me saying and doing things (making choices and decisions) that I ultimately regretted and would then dwell upon! Many times these knee jerk reactions made my so called problems even more difficult to manage. I would like to report that I no longer have "problems" but that...
Did you know that we communicate with more than our words when we speak? Psychologist Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer in the field of nonverbal communication, formulated this rule. His research revealed that only 7 percent of our feelings and attitudes are carried by our words! The tone of our voice constitutes 38 percent of the communication and 55 percent is conveyed by body language. Wow!
My intention is to speak kindly, wisely, truthfully and be a compassionate listener. Not always easy. Being human I get that I am flawed. Many times I just stink at this. Often times I find myself losing patience and getting very frustrated during conversations with people. Maybe they are in your life too. The ones who tell the same story again and again with a bunch of “boring” details, or interrupt you in the middle of your sentence hijacking you, or want to tell me everything about a movie or a series their watching and then struggle with remembering the name of the movie, then the a...
Recently a student mentioned that they were falling asleep during their afternoon/evening meditation sessions. I understood completely as it happens to me as well.
Sleepiness is one of the most common “foes”that we encounter during meditation.
Note~ I learned from a meditation teacher that whenever the ego feels threatened “it” meets the truth with resistance. Let that sink in a bit.
A rule of thumb for the meditator is that 99 percent of the resistance experienced in meditation is the ego’s attempts to derail the process of entering a higher level of consciousness (or more spacious reality).
These attempts have been called “foes” in Buddhist traditions.
“Foes” can appear as pain in our bodies, boredom, sleepiness, restlessness, judgment, doubt, anger, fear. They can be very persuasive! We can even experience a “foe” as profound as the fear of peace itself. Wow.
When the foes of meditation arise in our practice we might want to remember what Albert Einstein said. “No probl...
Here is some wisdom from Wayne Dyer to consider as we move about our day if you’re interested ~
"No one can depress you. No one can make you anxious. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you anything other than what you allow inside.”
Resistance immediately came up for me. My ego immediately called bs on this one. No one can hurt my feelings? Only what I allow inside ? Then I got quiet. Took a few pattern interrupt breaths.
This is about Conscious choice making. Becoming more present. Mindfully listening. Clarity. Acceptance. Judgment. Surrender. And on and on.
Taking responsibility for what I allow to flow in and what I decide to flow out.
Another one of the million reasons I am sooo Grateful for my meditation practice.
My practice will help me today slow down how the world flows into me ~ allows me clarity ~ time to interpret what’s flowing in ~ discern nourishment? Distraction? how i feel ~ becoming aware my emotions are in constant flux like clouds ~ I own them I choose my t...
I choose to go to the same gas station around here because it is a “full service” gas station. I prefer not to pump my own gas. This may sound odd to you but I actually begin to feel joy coming over me as I pull up to the pump because I also tip the gas station attendant no matter where I am for their service which makes me feel good. I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude that I get to sit comfortably in my car while being “served” in all types of weather. I make it a point no matter what the weather is to keep my window down because I like to chat with the giver of my gift.
Yesterday I pulled into “my” station during 23F degree weather here on Long Island. I put the window down and faced a young man. He was wearing a black knit hat that covered his head but left his face exposed. I “noticed” his coat seemed warm enough but that his gloves were torn. I felt my heart sort of sighing witnessing all of this.
I spoke first and said, good morning, would you fill it please? Sure he r...
I love how science is now proving what we as meditation students already know and experience ~ A new study has found evidence to show that there is actually a direct link between nasal breathing and our cognitive functions.
I can literally hear davidji saying, “now, take a long, slow, deep breath in through your nostrils and gently let that go... “
“ Let’s do that again, take a long, slow, deep breath in through your nostrils and gently let that go..”
That technique is one of the very first things I learned from davidji and I remember his answer. In simple easy to understand words he explained exactly what this article speaks to!
part of the article rest can be found at the link indicated below ~
We have all heard this simple saying during times of trouble: “Take a deep breath in.” Science being science, however, indicates that we may now have to update this old adage to read “Take a deep breath in it will help you be more emotionally aware but only if you inhale specifically through your n...
A note of gratitude to the woman who came out to learn how to "destressify" Tuesday evening at the Live, Love and Laugh Again: Breast Cancer Support Group meeting at Mather Hospital Northwell Health. Special shout out to Stephanie Crispino for inviting me back. We learned a few "in the moment stress busting techniques", spent time in community sharing and supporting each other and finished our sacred time together in a "Chocolate Meditation." I look forward to returning and going even deeper into how meditation can help us lower our blood pressure, slow our heart rates, slow our breathing, boost our immune system and even help us with pain management! We now know that meditation helps us become a little kinder, more patient, more accepting, better listeners and better choice and decision makers! It is a beautiful act of self-love. And, thank you Cynthia and Rachel for recommending me and for all that you do in service with so much love. Sending you all peace ~