There are so many teachings in this article on the second agreement taken from don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements - dont take anything personally. What immediately stood out for me was what don Miguel taught his son - that he is responsible to the tips of his OWN fingers - that he is NOT responsible to anyone else. To take things personally is to assume responsibility for someone else’s will.
I had to let that settle in a bit "be responsible to the tips of your own fingers...."
Can you imagine a life where we actually were able to think, believe and practice this?
To take things personally is to assume responsibility for someone else's will.... hmm...that is really "far-out!"
I can so relate to how often I believed that the actions of others reflected upon me. Especially with my family and my friends - what they said or didn't say, what they did or didn't do. My mental wheelbarrow has been filled and brimming over with shame, blame, resentment, anger and judgment. And, how ridiculous is this - mostly directed towards myself - like i was responsible somehow. Before being introduced to this agreement and the art of meditation I literally made myself sick. I would shut down or bark, talk incessantly about the incident, experience migraines, lose sleep or respond with non-nourishing behaviors... just the highlights of the tactics I used to ease this self-induced suffering.
When I take things personally, and of course I do at times - literally just this week - it ultimately creates so much turbulence in my mind and body. The net result - I give up my power and my peace.
I am so grateful for the clarity my meditation practice has given me. I am much quicker at becoming aware of how I am taking things personally. I am certainly not perfect at this agreement but definitely better than I use to be.
By not taking things personally I take full responsibility for the choices I have control over which are my own - to the tips of my fingers.
Thank you don Miguel Ruiz Sr. & don Miguel Ruiz Jr. for this teaching and reminder. The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz is a quick read, a book I cherish and a part of my guiding principals.
Here is the article: