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  • Writer's pictureColleen M. Doumeng

I will practice catching myself in the act of being critical/judgmental

Day 7

How can I love myself a little bit more today?

Wow - day 7 of asking, how can I love myself a little bit more today? This is a total first for me - having this question as an intention for seven days is something brand new and exciting! I would like to say thank you for taking this journey with me and congratulations for completing week one! I am learning so much from you. I deeply appreciate the time you are taking to read my posts and your beautiful brave hearts sharing and helping all of us.

This topic of judging and criticizing (myself and others) has become so heightened in my awareness. It is nudging me to dig deeper into this habit that I seek to change.

It is also interesting how suddenly I am noticing as I am out and about or reading something on Facebook or listening to Podcasts or watching TV just how much criticism we level against each other!

I have learned that when we judge or criticize another person it isn't saying a thing about that person. All it is saying is something about me. That I have a need to be critical. That I am a person who judges.

When I am criticized by someone I typically feel attacked or become defensive and shut down. In the past (before I meditated) when I experienced someone criticizing me it would result in feelings of anger and sometimes shame. Mostly shame. I dont recall ever saying "thank you" to the person for pointing out my flaws. In fact, being criticized during my childhood caused me to carry both shame and anger in a huge suitcase that I dragged right into my adult life to unpack! And, forget about it as an adult if someone were to criticize me at work - I would be frozen with fear and so afraid to make a decision or speak up - (ego response - fight/flight).

Then there is the scenario of how I feel after I have criticized/judged someone - ashamed, sad, ugly, regretful.

Hmm...I recognize some similar lower energy emotions here ~ when someone criticizes me ~shame - when I criticize someone - ashamed - hmm ...

The good news is that this is just an old worn out habit that can be changed. I'm on this!

How? I will practice catching myself in the act of being critical/judgmental. When I notice these thoughts I can simply and kindly say to myself, "there i go again", pick a non-judgmental thought AND hopefully learn to be more tolerant and more accepting.

"As we grow our best gets better and better and better."

Sending you peace from Long Island, New York. Namaste

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